I heaved my body with hope,To reach that steep point, I stumbled and I lost my sight, Feared for never finding my way back, I sat on a rock and pleaded with the moon, To show me the path, And guide me through the dark night, The Moon smiled and hid behind the cloud, Said he can't help it but let me plunge, I helplessly pleaded with the Stars, To help me go back to where I belong, They too, smiled and hid behind the cloud, Saying they are not that bright, To lighten my night, I sat in awe, appealed to the silvery cloud, To give me back my sight by a strike of light, I sat there for a while with teary eyes, Suddenly, I saw a shimmering light, Gazing at me with such delight, I just didn't know, That…. It was my own heart, That has shed light on this dark night….
Did you miss dancing ?? oh well..sorry..you only had few moments to listen and if you had missed it I am sorry...:)
I am so hyper I can't believe it myself..so what if I suddenly felt like driving to the store and buy the most beautiful song ever.....I went to get the CD I ordered and I heard this song ..and I froze..really and truly ...I stood in the middle of the store and I thought oh God...................
This is my music ..this is my love..and music like everything else says a lot about a soul, about a person..:) don't you believe it? well I do..and that's all that matters.....................
Come on..relax and enjoy the song..I know you can do it..:)
Ok gotta go and watch Tony Soprano..he got shot ..lol well time to see what the Mafia boss did..hey bear with me I am everything and nothing..
After all it is a day in our life so why not celebrate it. I love this song. Oh yes I know I had typo..hahahaha yes I know..so who the heck cares..we all make mistakes..Damn if my freind didn't constantly call the flowers "Da Fo Diles" I would not have spelled it like that..lol I should have more faith in me ..lol oh well.........................
Well all I know is I am happy for an unknown reason...may be I am still high on nature....not the weeds of the nature although that wouldn't have been a bad idea..but no I am high on those scenery and I be damned if I'll don't go back by the end this week..:)
Today I walked on the fields covered with daffodils, all yellow and white. The smell of Narcissuses made me high. I just loved the scenery and I took as many pictures as I could.........
Look at it, it just sat there in silence knowing it is being admired by just being beautiful............... I love it ..just love it...:)
I am writing this to celebrate my mother's birthday. Her birthday is also on March 11. My mother, the pillars of strength, love, dedication, faithfulness and more.
I love her and when I know she may soon forget me and my name......I fill sad.
When I look at you I know deep inside, you kept that unique love. I know that you still enjoy having flowers around you...may be... it reminds you of how proud you were of your garden. Remember those colorful tulips that you'd grown? I do..........I still remember how proudly you were showing off your garden to everyone....I still remember when my dog died and I cried, you buried my dog under your tree and told me that his soul will florish in the orchards..........well indeed it did..your tree bloomed beautifully the following year........
I still remember how you single-handedly fought and overcame the obstacles. I remember how faithful and loving you were ...
Yes I remember all..........
I love you Mother and this is for you...........
The coffee smelled very good and I was enjoying every sip of it. I had attended the weekly gathering of many artists from the different walks of life.
I was sitting silently in the corner of a half lit room and listening to their conversation. I wished I could tape it and listen to it again later. I could not understand this artist’s motives. Why is he denying that the paintings that were sitting on the easels are his?
Actually two had captured my eyes. Birth struck me as interesting, and traces were like marks of a life filled with purity and sins………..
I smiled and still wasn't able to come up with any answer. Suddenly a voice from the audience said; I saw them I know that you painted them. I even remember how you've had a name for each color of life. The artist turned his head and in a somber voice with such conviction gave her a cold look and said: "People including you will go on accusing other painters of being me, those do not belong to me". She in a shrieking voice said; “but I was the one whom you talked to, the gallery was dark and you could not see my face.”
There was no movement in the crowd and an aura of discomfort had filled the air. Suddenly a man who seemed to be the leader of the group said; “Is there any other topics that we can discuss today? Let’s drop this subject, set it aside and get on to the next one. We have a limited time”. Someone in the group said;” I wrote a story”. “What is the story about, could you tell us?” asked the leader. The man stood up and started to read his story.
“The story is about a bricklayer and a slayer. On one hot summer day a hard working bricklayer patiently was building a small cottage to house his family. His motions were slow and monotonous. There was a pile of dirt in one corner and a pile of bricks on the other, and a huge tin can filled with water in the middle. The bricklayer mixed the dirt with some water to make mud and then walked to the pile of bricks, get a brick, plastered it with mud and laid it on the top of another brick. He was so absorbed in his work that he didn’t notice Slayer who was lazily sitting under a tree and watching him.
This went on for sometime and came the lunchtime, so the bricklayer found a shady place and sat next to the slayer and greeted him with a smile, without a trace of fatigue in his face. The slayer turned around and asked; “What are you building.”
“A house for my family” said the bricklayer. “But this will take forever if you don’t get help” said the slayer. The bricklayer smiled and said: “My dear man, I am poor I can’t afford to have a hired hand. I know I will finish this cottage by next summer”.
There was a moment of silence, and both men seemed to be deep in thoughts and looking at something unknown; the bricklayer, to a far future and the picture of a little cottage that he is building with such patience and endeavor. The slayer at himself for having left so many jobs undone. Suddenly the slayer sighed and said; “It seems that you are very adamant and set your mind to finish this cottage, I could never build nor was I able to finish anything”. The bricklayer’s face brightened with a heartfelt laughter and with a soft motion took the slayer’s hand and said; “Come with me my dear man, I will teach you how to build”
Slayer delighted for having been able to find someone who can teach him this artistry, rose to the occasion and followed the bricklayer. “I am pleased to be able to contribute and help you build your house,” said the Slayer.
Few hours passed and the sun was scorching, and now both men were monotonously walking the same path doing the same things, making mud, plastering, and laying the bricks. Slayer quietly stood back and looked at the bricks that he’d laid for the past hours with a grim face covered in fatigue and exasperation, but still kept laying those bricks.
This partnership went on for few weeks and then one day the Slayer didn’t show up at work. The poor Bricklayer looked at few layers of bricks that his friend had built and wondered what happened to him. “May be he is ill,” he thought, “he will show up tomorrow”
Few weeks passed and there was no sign of the Slayer, he was nowhere and no one had heard from him nor seen him. The Bricklayer kept building his cottage and wondering what made his friend to leave the unfinished wall. Months passed and the cottage was built and finished. He moved his family into that cottage and built flower beds and planted seeds and trees. Another year passed and the Bricklayer forgot about his friend and kept adding to the cottage and living his life.
One spring day while the Bricklayer was sitting lazily on the porch of his cottage admiring and enjoying his home and the scenery, he noticed a shadow is approaching him. The sun blocked his sight and he couldn’t recognize the man who was walking towards him. Then it was his voice, the Slayer. “Hello my friend, I see that you finished your cottage and enjoying the scenery.” The Bricklayer looked at him in astonishment and asked him to sit down and offered him tea. “Where have you been? Why did you leave so suddenly?” asked the Bricklayer. “I had finished my work and it was time for me to leave” answered the Slayer. “But you didn’t finish the wall that you’ve started to build. I thought you wanted to learn how to finish what you start. I thought you resented the work and me,” said the Bricklayer. “I do not bear any resentment or hostility towards you for that matter, you can say or think whatever you wish, but the truth is that my job was done and I had contributed a great deal to build this cottage. That was the only thing that mattered to me” answered the Slayer.
The bricklayer was a simple man with an uncomplicated heart he was neither a philosopher nor wise. He only knew that Slayer didn’t make any contribution in building his home. On the contrary he thought it was him who held his hand and tried to teach him how to end what he starts and how to build a home for himself if he ever needed to settle down. He just sat in silence and stared at the Slayer, and wondered where and how can this man claim to have contributed in building this cottage.
Few moments passed, so finally the Bricklayer looked Slayer in the eyes and softly said: “My good man I don’t know what to tell you. I am only a simple peasant who has never lived anywhere but on this land. I am perplexed and don’t have the heart to tell you that the wall that you had built was not sturdy and strong. I looked at the wall and noticed that its body had not been placed on a solid ground, and knew that someday it will collapse. I demolished the wall and re-built it again.”
Slayer with a somber face that was clearly covered with doubts and bitterness said: “It seems that you know how to twist the truth to fit you. After all that I have done for you, I feel a sense of anger and bitterness in your face and your voice, but I still don’t hold any resentment or hostility towards you. You, like the others, abuse my good will and reciprocate it with such meanness and glowering attitude.
The poor Bricklayer was motionless and in awe. He wasn’t able to move or to utter a word. He didn’t know that Slayer is an extremely self-righteous man with his own convictions. He wasn’t aware that Slayer regards himself as a savior and a liberator of the bitter souls. After all, the poor Bricklayer didn’t know that no word and no reason could possibly penetrate into nor can change Slayer’s mind and convictions, So he turned his head and looked up and heard himself asking Slayer to leave: “Please leave my good man”
The writer finished reading his book and closed it. The room fell in a deep silence. It seemed that his audience are pinned to their chairs, motionless and out of breathe. They looked as if they were drowned in their thoughts and imagining the farm and the cottage, facing Slayer and trying to dispute him, but they could not come up with words that would fit in. They only knew that given the same situation, they would’ve probably done what the poor bricklayer did.
The group leader stood up and faced the audience and said: “Well ladies and gentlemen unless you have something to share, we will conclude this meeting until next week”
I walked outside. The cool air softly brushed my face. The story was suffocating. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I thought about the bricklayer and the agony that he must have felt while facing Slayer. What do you say to the Slayers of this world? How do you react?
I finally found my car, sat behind the wheel and drove away.
Well if we supposed to celebrate our birthday, then I am just doing that...............
Tomorrow is my birthday. When I look back at the last three years I can see how things have changed and what happened on each of my birthday.
Three years ago right on that day I heard a bad news which took me by surprise. Something that no honorable person would do to anyone not at least on her birthday.........I was dismissed...like the several years of my life that I've had spent there were worthless....oh well I am sure or hope that someday that hick Billy Bob gets a taste of his own medicine..
Two years ago I celebrated it with my friends and things were peaceful but nothing to note or to write about........I was looking forward to a long joyous trip.........
Last year on this same day I was home by myself and trying to see if the somewhat important person in my life would remember this day. I was hoping to receive at least a nice card or a surprise call....well that never happened....
This year I took the day off and happy that finally the sun breaks into those thick clouds that had been casting the sky for several days and had made the days as dark as an early dusk..........well at least sun has accompanied me in the celebration..:) what more could I want?
What am I going to do? I don't know...I have no plan but I am hoping to hear a good news ...waiting and waiting for that 10% chance that is left to be decided...........Yes I hope I get that job and be able to move back to where I had left three years ago.....I can't say it was all loss but it is so funny how we find ourselves going around a circle only to end up where we begun..but I am not sorry for my stupidity. At least I will do my best to not end up where I begun. That was a good experience after all without that decision I would've never been able to appreciate the place that I used to live. I would have never been able to love the sun and yearn for it the way I do now. I would have never been able to feel or to experience the shortlived joy of the ownership :) I would have never known how those people and their presence in my life make a difference as much as I do now, I would have never been able to see and admire the colors of the nature, I would have have never been able to enjoy these beautiful mountains and I would have never been able to see or to even imagine what must be like to have rainy days.......and...I would have never known what a true lonliness means........Now I know.....
No no no ..I did fine...I am ok with my decision after all.
Today and yesterday I couldn't get my mind off of what was said about me and how my very privacy was intruded and how I was striped naked of my rights to privacy. A revealing of a unfortunate event that would have had no bearing on anyone's life but me. It was after all meant to be a sharing of a grievance with someone who was greatly trusted...........
But do I regret it? no way...it was a heart breaking experience but an eye opener for the future. I now know better, and I am more careful and keep my distance. I built a thick wall around myself and on the door of that thick wall it is written in bold letters: Visas are not being granted. Requests are being reviewed.
Oh I better go and break some sweat at the gym...a healthy start no? :))))))))))))
Well :) Happy Birthday to me............
I felt like sharing this song with you all. A beautiful nostalgic song that reminds me of something or somewhere or someone unknown to me...the music is just "is".........
absolutely love it ..:)
On Sunday, Just rest
