|
I felt like writing today about yesterday. For some odd reasons I travelled to the corners and streets of the past, sat in a coffee shop and drank, I read the yasterday's newspaper and read the editorial. Yes I went to yesterday and reviewed the past. Remembered the ghosts of the past who found a way to enter my world and each left a mark. I remembered the fights, the discussions, the dissapointments, the resentments.............All for nothing.....All for a ghost that no one knew well.......remembered the accusations and claims that spiced the food even more. Yes I remembered one particular ghost who always talked about the love that was felt deep inside one's soul, a kind of a love that no one could ever feel, a kind of a love that was so strong that led to the suppression of the innocent lives. A kind of a love that devastated and decayed someone else's meager reputation.......a rage and anger led to the most heinous and shocking description of one's appearnce and way of life.....a dirty life that is not worth living.....This one soul loved to own this trash, no matter how tedious the smell was....and yes...proud of being the trash's only love.... And then I remembered another ghost who also claimed the same love, except this ghost was lost, a kind of a ghost that would nourish the soul by other's leftover. This one had no persona to find an untouched food. Nevertheless this ghost also wrecked and ramshackled the reputations of one soul, whatever was left of it............was it the same anger? but this one left for good, and never but once talked about this dirty soul.......I have that much respect for this one...... Of all the ghosts that came to my life and left, there was only one whom I still remember with fondness, a sort of an innocent soul, who was played with in many forms, by the hands of couple of other souls whom their never ending games unnerved and ravished the existence of this ghost, at least for a short while..........I always like this one, although I know the mis-understandings i mpaired my relatioship with this one.....Alas ....that's life...... The last is the soul that I like to call "The Cause". An unnecessary cause that by lies and deceits played with many lives, brought about boxes of gifts that were wrapped in a most beautiful papers and ribbons................Unwrapping the layers of all those beautiful and colorful papers would have only brought the person closer to the contents inside, which happened to be nothing more than an empty box. The Cause always claimed that other souls would want to see the colorful and bright wrapping papers, and so The Cause gives them what they wanted to see........to see how silly and naive they indeed are, how desperate they are to unwrap layers after layers of colorful papers of hopes... to see an empty box, or rather their own empty, dying souls..........an empty soul that would be dug deeper into the mud. Yes "The Cause" left scars in the existence of many souls and hid in the corners to only come back in many forms, believing the "Come Backs" would ease the pain......I always wondered about this ghost's intentions.....I always wondered why this one ghost shied me? why never had the nerve to face me? was it the fear of loss? was it the extend of the lies? or it was simply to keep me around? what was it? Well like I said in my earlier post, I don't have time to think about the past, and I am happy that I truly left the past. At one point in time I was dying to get to where I am now and I always thought I can never get here......but I have reached the destination. Thank to my Creator for giving me a gift, a gift that made me who I am today, a gift that enables me to let go of my anger and replace it with kindness, and remembering only good things in people no matter how hurt I felt. I only hope that God forgives them............. I like all these ghosts, they filled my times, each taught me something...I learned a lot of lessons, yes some not very bright and light.....but isn't it true that in order to appreciate light, you must see the darkness???????????? That yesterday is gone and belong to the past, yes they do belong to the past......but once in a while a flicker of a shiny dust would bring back the memories of the past.......
|