The reality is I am dead sleepy and tired. I had a beautiful dream last night but then I had to get up early and come to work. I am so blessed for having so many family and friends around me. Last night there was a big family reunion. Everybody was there, all dressed up, pretty, good looking. The food was great, the wine was tasty and the conversations were exciting. I got to see the little girls and boys all grown up, I got to see my cousins, I saw one of my lost friends. I had a great time, left and caught up in this silly traffic. This city will always have traffic jam no matter when and where you drive. I am having a New Year party tonight, a potluck party with plastic cups and plates. Good thing is I work half day. I have to go and buy party hats and stuff and flowers and wine and.. Oh my what Potluck? I wished I had not asked them to bring anything.
Anyway I just came to wish you all a prosperous, happy, healthy year
A sunny breezy day, a blue sky, a huge crowd, all gathered to pay their last respect to a young man who lost his life over nothing. His friends, single or married brought their little children to say good bye to their father’s best friend.
“He was my friend, my father, my brother, my mentor….my everything” said a young man. “He was always there for me, when I had my first child, he was in the hospital a moment after, he was there when I had my second child” said another. “I wished I was the one who was killed, he died instead of me” said another…
Every one of them had a story to tell about a young man who was killed in an accident. The crowd was silent, there was not a single sound and if the tears had any voice, the room would be filled with a sound of a rushing mad river.
His mother was crying and all the other mothers cried with her, feeling her pain, touching her pain. His father, all broken and bent, asked everyone to forget and to forgive, “That’s what he wants” He said.
Hearts were crushing under the heaviness of this immense sadness, everyone walked behind his body, to say the last farewell. The mother left, how could she witness the burial of her first born, how could she stand there while her child is buried under cold earth?
Everyone cried, and this time the pain and the tears have found a voice. The sun disappeared for a moment, a patch of cloud cast its shadow over the crowd, a bird flew, a moment passed and then it was silent and then there was nobody around and life continued.
These days I believe more in enjoying the present moments, be content, love life, to complain less or not at all....... simply because it has been proven to me that you dont know what will happen to you the next day or even the next moment....you are here one second and gone the next...
It was early Saturday morning when my cell phone rang. I just turned lazily in my bed thinking it is still too early to answer the phone......so I stayed in bed. Well,,, being "me" I got up and ran to my phone, it was my sister, I was a bit surprised so I called her:
"Hi what's up"
".......got shot and was killed last night"
"WHAT" I screamed...."Oh My God, Oh my God" that's all I could say.
"I don't know the detail, he was with his friends and he got shot and was killed instantly"
Later on I decided to go to his parent's house, and I found two drained, beat, heart broken couple who still can't believe they lost their son for no reason, other than stupidity. The worse was this guy has littel kids. He was killed because he was "Standup" guy who always protected his friends, who was a wiseguy, who was mucho..:( Everyone thought he had changed but he lost his life because of all that.:(
I was so shocked, speechless and my heart felt as if a big rig is drilling deep into it...I could not breath I could not come up with any comforting words to say. To say what? "Oh everything is going to be alright"? or "Don't worry take care of yourself" ?
It was a devastating moment, and I was just imagining the scence where he was shot, the moment, the darkness, what did he feel? did he know he finally got himself killed? did he say oh my God I have little kids in need of a father that I am taking away from them? Parents that have dedicated their lives to meand I am going take their livelyhood?
It was very hard for all of us to sit there and watch their pain and agony. We all stayed. I drove home in darkness and it was then that I finally let my tears found their way in my eyes............
These are the saddest pictures I have seen. It literally brought tears to my eyes.
These pictures are taken in Ukraine. In picture one the wounded bird is lying on the ground waiting for her partner. In picture two the partner brings food for her. In picture three he realizes that she is motionless. In the proceeding picture he cries for help and finally he sat down next to her dead body and mourns. :............(
On my own, sitting by the prairie, Where sun lives and dies, Where Jasmines cover the fields, Where the coolness of the blue moon, Soothes my skin, I looked around but you weren’t anywhere, You used to say you never die, That you will be there, rain or shine, I still remember the first time we talked, I felt there was something different in you, Your friendship was something I needed then, That smile when you said hi was so new, I became addicted to you, We promised we meet we set time and date, One cold November day, I didn’t hear from you. I thought your heart become poisoned, I thought you died and left……. You disappeared without saying “goodbye” No word, No sign, The room became dark and silent, You and I bro and sis of nature, Fell apart, I was shaken, Many moons passed, Out of no where one day you called, Asked me to hold your hand, To stay by your side, let you heal from it all, Stars shone once more, Sun smiled and I glowed, But then once again, I watched in horror, How your heart was poisoned, turned dark, How your truths turned into lies, I just sat and watched you And sometimes pretended that I don’t see you, Many years have passed, We don’t speak, we don’t share secrets, I still think of you from time to time, Wondering …Why But one thing I wanted to say “I always wish you well”
Marry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my lost friends…
I feel so sad today, may be because it’s a day after 4 days of holiday? May be I am tired? But it’s not that, I am sad because I feel that my son is making a big mistake and there is nothing I can do about it. He’s still very young to get involved in a serious relationship and it seems that his girl friend is very insecure, and I am afraid that insecurity would ultimately ruin my son’s life. I don’t know if she is trying to keep him around by making him feel guilty about the life she didn’t have? The family she never loved?. I told him that this jealousy and insecurity and fights and make ups may look and feel exciting but in real life they turn your life into misery. He loves her very much and she does too, but something and I don’t know what, makes me sad and worried. I am a mother and I don’t want my son to end up getting married and divorced with kids. My husband thinks I am crazy and I have to stop worrying but I can’t. I do like her a lot and I truly treat her nicely but I am worried that her jealousy and insecurity would ruin his life. I know he will go through it and may be very happy but there is a chance that he will be miserable. She keeps talking about “forever” but he refuses to talk about it. I don’t like surprises, I Know it is vicious and bad but deep inside my heart I wanted her to leave him for good….I know it is bad I know he might get hurt but it is better for him to get hurt now than later. I don’t want him to get involved with someone who has no family, no friends, insecure and whining. Why can’t he be with the opposite girl? Why can’t he go out with a girl who is self assured and strong? Why? Why didn’t he learn from his parent’s life?
Oh my heart is breaking under this heaviness and I just want to sit and cry, I wished I could tell him “Wake up, open your eyes. Wait don’t jump ship, give yourself a chance” but she knows exactly what to do and I am afraid for the future, yes I am worried and there is nothing I can do besides watching him from the distance and pray for him and his well being….that what mothers do…….no?
On Sunday, Just rest
The reality is I am dead sleepy and tired. I had a beautiful dream last night but then I had to get up early and come to work. I am so blessed for having so many family and friends around me. Last night there was a big family reunion. Everybody was there, all dressed up, pretty, good looking. The food was great, the wine was tasty and the conversations were exciting. I got to see the little girls and boys all grown up, I got to see my cousins, I saw one of my lost friends. I had a great time, left and caught up in this silly traffic. This city will always have traffic jam no matter when and where you drive. I am having a New Year party tonight, a potluck party with plastic cups and plates. Good thing is I work half day. I have to go and buy party hats and stuff and flowers and wine and.. Oh my what Potluck? I wished I had not asked them to bring anything.
