Have you recently searched you soul?

Found anything unusual?

Have you seen your eyes?

Noticed the reflection of hate and abhorrence?

Do you believe in Heaven and Hell?

Do you believe in God?

Can you peacefully sleep through the night?

With so much blood in your hands?

So many lives that were ended,

So many hopes turned into despair,

So many hearts broken,

So many hands held up to God,

Cursing your soul and wished you hell,

For what they have lost.

Did you peacefully sleep last night?

Do you feel the power of evil running through your soul?

Do you remember the last time he cast his spirit upon you?

Was it when you killed Neda?

Or was it when you hid Sohrab’s body?

Or was it when your soldiers raped and tortured their prey.

When was it?

Tell me, we like to know.

Can you peacefully sleep through the night?

I just read my previous post, lolol.  What was wrong with me.  The only thing I like about writing my feelings is I can see them later and laugh at them.  I guess because I had planned to go to gym and I couldn't ....well plus couple of other things...

Now I am in a different mood. 

"Frame every so called disaster with these words "In five years, will this matter?" someone asked me.  My question was of course not because the older you get the less passionate you become.  But I am not going to lose my passion for life, I like to get things or live my life the way I want once in while....don't you?

Weekends are usually for relaxation, going places, shopping and whatever that's fun.  It seems weekend for me is nothing but constant work.  I was really tired yesterday and to make it worse I realized how my ability to have certain things is very limited.  I've been witnessing others living my simple dreams.  Hence my dreams are not unattainable.  I hate to question my fate and I fear asking God why? I am happy and I am probably one of the luckiest people on this earth, but I can't help it I have to be honest, at least with myself, I am tired of been gracious and happy for others to live my dreams, always congratulating them and thanking God for their luck and all.  No yesterday I was pretty sad, why can't I live my simple dreams? why my simple basic dreams don't come true? How long do I have to keep my faith and pretend that I am happy for others? I can't do it anymore, well....may be not now, not yesterday and not today.  I can feel like that in my privacy no? Ok I know it is really silly to talk like that, but I want to be silly now and I want to nag and complain.  Once in a while it is ok to feel like complaining, and no one hears me because I can't tell people my dreams.  They are so simple that they may pity me and I hate that I am not a pitiful person, I have everything that a normal person might have most importantly my health.  Oh no I am not going to convince myself that I should not complain..No I like to nag now and I want to be sad now and I want to know how long do I have to wait? is this my freaking destiny? like a wheel of bike? going around and around..No it is not..

For the past weeks all I saw was atrocities done by a crowd of thugs and hoodlums.  Beating up, killing or arresting thousands of peaceful young people who wanted to have a taste of Freedom.  The Nedas of Iran are crying outloud to be heard by the world.  What they want is to be respected by the world and to clean their tarnished images.  The images that reflect on television world wide, a huge angry crowd with closed fists, shouting “Death to America”.  They want the world to know those people are the same thugs who kill them in cold blood.  They wanted the entire world to know that the government makes its workers to go out and show their solidarity with the regime or else lose their jobs and end up marked on the government’s black list.  So many ghastly images filled internet sites, and made you wonder what human would do that to another? Even animals don’t kill their own. 

I feel so sad for the people of Iran.  It seems like everything is gone back to normal, normal under fear of retributions and reprisal.  I don’t know if I live to see a change in that government, all I can do is pray and wait.  Religion can not be mixed with politics.  Religious leaders should only be the spiritual leaders.  Throughout the history fanatics were the root of all evil.  Religious leaders used the name of God to carry on their atrocities. 

I can only hope that this movement of “The Human Rights” continues in Iran and in many other countries where their subjects are yearning to taste a drop of freedom.  I hope the blood of the Nedas of this world would not be shed in vain.  Amen

I always loved Michael Jackson and throughout the 80’s danced with his music and so did my son.  Two generation danced to his music.  He is indeed the King of Pop as Elvis was the King of Rock & Roll.

The only thing that is annoying now is the news.  Every single day from early in the afternoon till whatever time it takes all I hear is about him.  Ok I am sorry, I did pay my respect and dues in watching one full evening to see how he died and I cried for him.  But enough is enough, let the man go in dignity, let him rest in peace, why discussing his dependency on drugs or whatever.  Let’s face it he was great, but he made few bad mistakes.  Stop interviewing people who are dying for 15 minutes of fame at any cost.  I saw his nurse on CNN telling that he was begging the doctor to give him sleeping pills.  So what? I am sure so many ordinary people would do the same.  It is really sad that the newscasters are so hung on this story that they forgot there are other important news that people need to know.  It seems like the news about scandals are juicier than the important news that’s happening around the glob as we speak. 

All I know is this “I can’t wait for this news to be over”

Oh yea I also felt bad for Farah Fawcett whose death was overshadowed by MJ’s death and adding to that Carl Malden died at the age of 97 so I think he really shouldn’t complain that the news of his death was only a one liner on CNN. 

It was so strange I saw him in my dream.  He never had a face but this time he did.  He was loving and nice.  He held me tight and I could feel his love under my skin....

 I woke up, felt sad, I miss him so very much....I realized I was reading "The Russina Concubine" before I fell asleep last night.  Well better than reading or listening to the news no?